Two dumb things happened to Stuart this week.
Exhibit A: Stuart and Marin participated in a dance competition in Dallas (3+ hours away). [Brent took the kids because I was out of town for the weekend having a wickedly fun all girls’ weekend. I will probably never be able to re-pay him for happily doing that, alone. He said he only saw four other men there the whole day long . . .] I guess they danced well because they came home with several trophies. The trophies were obviously purchased beforehand and en masse because they were given out that night, so they had no names, dates, events, or award titles on them—just the trophy. Stuart hopped into the car, holding his trophy out at an odd angle—his facial expression a mixture of amusement and confusion. Here’s a picture of it (he actually received three of these beauties):
I laughed out loud when I saw it, but then felt bad—in case he felt bad. So I asked him whether he was annoyed or mad and he shrugged his shoulder and said, “Nah. I mean, it’s weird, but . . . it’s still a trophy, I guess . . . but why did they have to show the outlines of her butt in the back??”
I mean, really? Considering that they obviously bought a ton of trophies en masse, is it entirely unreasonable for me to think that they should have a few (2-3, maybe 5?) trophies with a boy figure on them or at least a gender neutral one, like maybe a tap shoe?
Exhibit B: Our scout troop had a pack meeting last Tuesday. I gotta be honest: I don’t love the scouting program. It feels like a whole new language to me—so many different patches that have to be sewn on by hand (seriously?), so many arrow points, pins, belt loops, handkerchiefs, I could go on. So.many.accessories. After pack meetings, I sometimes come home, committed to trying to figure out how the dang system works. So I googled “cub scouts belt loops” and came upon a website, whereupon I learned that Stuart can do 8 million individual tasks to earn a snazzy belt loop (and really, Stuart is all about the accessories) for these 25 academic areas:
Art, astronomy, chess, citizenship, collecting, communicating, computers, disabilities awareness, family travel, geography, geology, good manners, heritages, language and culture, map and compass, mathematics, music, nutrition, pet care, photography, reading and writing, science, video games, weather, and wildlife conservation
And these 28 sports:
Archery, BB gun shooting, badminton, baseball, basketball, bicycling, bowling, fishing, flag football, fitness, golf, gymnastics, hiking, hockey, horseback riding, ice skating, kickball, marbles, roller skating, skateboarding, snow ski and board sports, soccer, softball, swimming, table tennis, tennis, and ultimate volleyball.
So Stuart can earn a belt loop for marbles and videogames, but not this:
So I’m feeling like I’m living in 1956, but it’s still 2012 . . . right?