Sometimes I Feel Like a Nut

Last week I read this comment in an online Facebook group:

“My daughter’s handout from Young Women’s today: Your greatest role in life is to be wife to your “sweetart” and mom to your “sugar babies.”  Along with accompanying candy. I get it! Mormons want women to be wives and mothers. I don’t know how much I can fight that. But…my daughter is TWELVE!! TWELVE! Isn’t there anything better they can be teaching a twelve year old girl?”

(To think, I thought it was bad when my daughter came home with a die cut of a broom with a quote taped on the back reminding her that her divine purpose in life was to be a homemaker.  No, I did not make that up, people.)

My first response upon reading the dumb Sugar Babies thing was Ohmyholyhell.  Then I laughed out loud, all by my lonesome in front of my office computer.  Seriously?  Who thinks of this stuff?  My 12 year old also came home from that lesson annoyed.  She got in the car and said, “We talked about getting married today.  Again.  I mean, really?  I’m 12, okay?  I’m not thinking about getting married.  Nor should I be . . . right, Mom?”

Right, dear. 

While I was busy alternating between laughing, shaking my head, and doing a facepalm, the gals on the Facebook group were busy supplying suggestions for responses we could send back to the teacher (God bless her, for real) who handed out Sugar Babies to the Beehives to remind them of their divine role in life.

Here’s a sampling.  These made me chuckle:

  • “Can you write a note back that says: I didn’t expect a handout to promote such an “airhead” message. The handout you sent home makes my soul “krackle” at the thought of my daughter being conditioned to be just a “fun dip/tootsie roll” for some “Mr. Goodbar” to “skor” with. I would “snicker” if I thought it was a joke, but I see “good and plenty” of reasons why this is such a harmful message for my “Baby Ruth.”
  • “Age 12?! That’s just creepy. Fight candy puns with candy puns, I say. “Be*twix*t you and me, the best part of church dances is *snicker*ing at the *runts* and *nerds*.”
  • “I would give a “100 grand” to hear a lesson on how to get a career and a “payday” instead of another lesson on the importance of getting a “big hunk.”

I was grateful for the comic relief, but the message remains a terrible one.  We simply must stop with the creepy/cheesy/dumb food + sexuality/modesty analogies at church.  This is not our good stuff, people.