Nearly True: A Thong Discovered in the Laundry

[This is a guest post from the man known to us as "Smooth Operator"]

 Recently I came across a Sweetheart Candy(T)–pink thong in the laundry.  As I held it up, my wife said it was my 14-year-old daughter’s.  “She got it for her birthday,” she said, adding, with defensive emphasis, “from a girlfriend,” as if to head off at the pass any thoughts I might have that it was from a boyfriend … or, perhaps, from my wife, or … that it was my wife’s, or … that it was from my wife’s boyfriend?


Anyway, without thinking, I asked what we were going to do about it, which sounded as if this article of apparel constituted an act of aggression that should not stand, as though we should consider some sort of embargo or pre-emptive strike if our thong-disarmament talks failed. She shrugged her shoulders and said I could do whatever I thought best. After giving it some thought, I realized the theory and practice of female underpants are really outside my area of expertise. So, I’d like to ask Doves & Serpents readers what they think one should do in a circumstance like this.

Am I overreacting? Should I just be glad she’s wearing underpants? I’ve heard some people say thongs might be worn for comfort, and that idea had never occurred to me. I always thought if water-boarding didn’t work with suspected terrorists, next on the list was forced thong-wearing. How comfortable is a thong?

Of course, it goes without saying that readers giving a response to this question do so without any personal experience.

A final question: why would I never have a 60 second mental struggle over one of my boys switching from boxers to briefs?